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CoSIDA.com/CoSIDA360 Magazine Archive
Note: This story appeared in the Fall 2018 November edition of CoSIDA 360 Magazine. To view the full magazine, click here.
Perspectives From Outside the Profession
Cultivating the Courage To Ask for Help
by Megan Harrity, Ph.D., Counseling and Sport Psychologist
It’s that time of year again. Student-athletes are well into their fall semester and the pressures are rising to perform at a high level in the classroom and the athletic arena. And for some, the media attention they receive adds to the pressure to put out that perfect performance.
In my role as a psychologist and leadership consultant for NCAA Division I collegiate student-athletes, I have tremendous respect for the daily drive and discipline these incredible high performers display. I also have a great deal of compassion for them. Collegiate student-athletes expend remarkable amounts of mental and physical energy each day to meet academic and athletic demands. Their days often start with a 6 a.m. workout and extend well into the evening as they push to complete assignments and prepare for exams. At a recent evening leadership workshop, the toll of this grind was evident. During one exercise, they obediently walked around the room to find a partner for a two-minute discussion, and then more than half of the pairs promptly found a place to sit down while they talked – they were clearly exhausted.
The reflection time provided in these workshops is an uncommon opportunity for them to pause and consider who they are hoping to become as leaders, how they are doing with this personal journey, and what will help them further align their behaviors with their vision in order to maximize the impact they can have on others. This type of personal reflection time is valuable, and it’s also often one of the first things to fall by the wayside when our busy schedules ramp up.
As a working mother, I switch roles and tasks multiple times a day and regularly find myself in “windshield mode.” It’s hard enough to manage what’s in front of me, let alone carve out time to reflect on how I’m feeling and functioning overall, consider why and how I want to do better, and develop a game plan for closing that gap. Yet if this kind of approach continues under intense stress without an intentional effort to take care of ourselves, mental health takes the hit.
Asking for help takes a tremendous amount of courage. In athletics, where strength is often misconstrued as being capable of doing things without help, it’s important to reshape the culture to encourage help-seeking. When athletes experience a physical injury, they utilize athletic trainers and team physicians to return to health. Why should mental health be any different? This is true for student-athletes, and it’s true for those of us working hard to support them. When we are lifting heavy weights, we need a spotter. None of us can take this world on alone, and we shouldn’t have to.
So if you see someone who might be having trouble, familiarize yourself with the resources first. Then look for an opportunity to pull that person aside and ask, “How are you doing? I’ve noticed that you don’t seem like yourself lately, and I’m concerned. I care about you. What can I do to support you?” Rest assured that asking about thoughts of self-harm will not worsen the situation – it can be a relief to have someone acknowledge this if it’s actually part of their struggle. And then you can add, “I know we have a great counseling resource available, and I’m happy to help you get connected. Asking for help takes courage, and it’s worth it. Let’s walk over together to set up an appointment.”
These kinds of conversations can be game changers. Even if the individual isn’t ready yet to take that next step, trust that your choice to plant the seed made a difference.
And if
you’re having a hard time, extend that same compassion to yourself and get some help. Ask a trusted friend or colleague if they can recommend someone, or check your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) and insurance benefits for a local resource. One way to learn more about available options is through
psychologytoday.com, where many mental health providers post profiles and provide information about the services they provide.
One more important thing to consider… media coverage regarding mental health is an important opportunity to destigmatize help-seeking and also requires great care. First-hand stories about individuals who have faced their own mental health battles are powerful; this often inspires others to ask for help. It’s also critical that members of the media protect the public’s understanding that mental health treatment is confidential. A casual media mention of an individual’s mental health situation or decision to receive services can unwittingly create the perception that the treatment they receive may not actually be confidential. Please keep that in mind when mental health issues are covered, in order to continue cultivating a culture where people have the courage to ask for help.
Megan Harrity is a Licensed Psychologist with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and has worked extensively with collegiate and professional athletes. She currently serves in the University of Notre Dame Counseling Center and provides leadership consulting to NCAA Division I student-athletes.