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Note: This story appeared in the Fall 2019 November edition of CoSIDA 360 Magazine. To view the full magazine, click here. 


Life in the (Parent) Hood

Love your family...and your career.

by Laurie Bollig – CoSIDA Director of Membership Engagement

Kendra Willard remembers exactly when she knew her job as the assistant director of communications for Auburn University was rubbing off on her three-year-old daughter. 

No surprise, it came during one of those car conversations parents enjoy while performing chauffeur duties for their children.

Madelyn had been learning about the four seasons at daycare.

“We were riding in the car, and I asked Madelyn ‘What is your favorite season?’ Willard recalled. “She said ‘Well, I like football season and volleyball season…’ You know she’s a sports kid because her year is based on sports seasons!”

SIDs who experience parenthood for the first time are likely to have many stories like that by the time their children grow up. It’s rare that a new baby doesn’t make an appearance at a home sporting event early in life. Sometimes it’s for fun, but oftentimes, it’s out of necessity. It’s but one example of the many life changes athletics communications professionals navigate when they decide to have families.

Plan ahead

For an SID, planning is the key to — you name it — a successful academic year, a successful social media campaign, a successful event. It’s no different when planning for a major medical leave of absence that will accompany the birth of a child.

Amanda Radtke, assistant director of athletic communications for North Florida, worked backward from her due date to do the math. 

“I found out that I was pregnant in April of 2018. Once I knew my due date, it kind of fell into place. I started figuring out when I was going to be gone, how many weeks I got off, and what was going to need to be covered in that time period,” said Radtke, who delivered son Carter in November 2018.

Ohio State associate director of communications Kyle Kuhlman had the luxuries of a large staff and an overdue baby to get him through the planning process. Kuhlman, who has responsibilities for wrestling, men’s volleyball, and football and basketball statistics, began delegating duties to co-workers, prepping the student interns in his charge and contacting his sport coaches to let them know how things would be covered in his absence.

“Miss Harper spent an extra week in the oven. If she was born on the due date, I don’t know if I would have been ready,” Kuhlman said.

Jacksonville associate athletic director for communications Matt Moretti found himself in a new job right before he became a father to son Reilly in late 2018.

“I was still getting to know my staff, but in the weeks leading up, they were all very aware of what was going on and what amount of time I was going to take. We got a lot of things planned. During weeks two and three (of paternity leave), I was getting antsy and doing some due diligence, checking to make sure everyone was getting what they needed.”

 

Communicate

Having someone in your corner who understands your new life situation — a supervisor at work or a spouse at home — is optimal, but even if that doesn’t exist, communicating with your supervisors early and often seems to be the best policy.

Willard, Radtke, Kuhlman and Moretti all credit their bosses with making the transition to working parent easier. 

“The advantage I have is that all three of my superiors (Jerry Emig, Leann Parker and Dan Wallenberg) have kids. So they understood it,” Kuhlman said. They told me ‘Harper’s important. Take your time.’ It was nice to have that support from other parents at work.”

Willard’s boss, Kirk Sampson, and Radtke’s boss, Brian Morgan, have children and could relate to the grind they were soon to experience.

“My biggest thing is this is not the time to be shy or hold back. This is the time to step up and say what you can and can’t do and what you are going to need help with, Radtke said. “And asking the questions of your employers, if I have to do something different, like bringing Carter into work for an hour, will this work?”

Willard said you never know if you don’t ask.

“Be open and honest with your bosses. Let them know you still care about your job. People should understand that your priorities are with your kids. Nine times out of 10, they will want to help you out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We have to rely on people to help us take care of kids.”

 

Take time off

Paid time off, maternity leave, paternity leave, Family and Medical Leave Act — all touchy and difficult subjects — and yet, taking time off after the birth of a child is essential for recovery for mom and bonding for both parents.

When Willard had her second daughter, Elsie, less than a year ago, she was out for 12 weeks. Radtke took the same amount of time off. Kuhlman and Moretti were each able to take off three weeks of paid leave.

Radtke’s husband, Braden Radtke, is a news director for a local television affiliate. 

“Braden is an amazing father. He’s been with me every step of the way. The baby gets up at 7 AM. I have to wake Braden up when I put the baby down and I go to work. Just to have six hours of sleep would be nice. He helped a lot with the overnight feedings when Carter was younger.”

Willard’s husband, Zach Willard, is an athletics turf manager at Auburn. 

“His spring was difficult. They were short-staffed, so he was working every baseball and softball weekend. Elsie spent a lot of the first couple months of her life at a ball field.”

Kuhlman’s wife, Hillary Carter, is an academic adviser at Ohio State. Carter is a former soccer player (and football player) for Earlham College and also coaches a high school soccer team.

“She is still busy even while she’s not working, because she’s a head high school soccer coach. When I get home, she hands off Harper and goes to coach.”

Moretti’s wife, Janelle, is a rock star. Not only did she manage a cross-country move while pregnant, she juggles two different jobs from home while caring for a new baby. And there’s that medical diagnosis that rocked her family’s world. 

During her pregnancy, Janelle was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis — a form of MS where the symptoms of the disease are triggered by stress and trauma to the body. Janelle battled this disease as she carried a child to term, quit her job, left Richmond and moved to Jacksonville for her husband’s job.

“For the first month while we house hunted in Jacksonville, we lived in her grandparents’ summer home three hours away in Lady Lake, Florida. They were in Buffalo for the summer. I made the drive every other day and stayed in the dorm when I wasn’t making that trip. She was flying solo on those days and nights while I was in Jacksonville,” Moretti said.
 

The work will be there when you get back

No matter the planning done in preparation for being gone for three to 12 weeks, the job will be waiting for new parents upon re-entry into the workforce. For some, it’s gut-wrenching to leave a new baby with others. For others, the end of time off signals something entirely different.

“I was absolutely miserable,” Willard said of the year she was out of athletics communication after Madelyn’s birth. “I was ready to get back into college athletics.

“My first week back after Elsie was born, I hopped on a plane and went to Texas for the equestrian national championships. My goal was to come back for that because we were undefeated at the time and I was hoping we would win.” 

Note: Auburn won the national championship.

Radtke confessed to having more contact than she probably should have with her staff during her leave, but one of the interns covering her sports got a new job.

“To help alleviate some of the staffing issues and during crossover season, I said these are the games I’m comfortable helping and working. I was never meant to be a stay-at-home mom so it was fine for me. The basketball games were during Christmas break so my husband brought Carter to the games.”

Kuhlman, who still has one paid week of leave left that he intends to take over the holidays, said it took him about three weeks to catch up at work.

“I finally got caught up on emails and projects. I feel like I can finally breathe.”

Moretti credits Janelle for helping him ease back into his role at Jacksonville and even introduced him to some tactics to help him transition from work to home.

“She knows how hard I work and want to work. She made clear I would have to make adjustments in the ways I would do things. She’s worked hard with me to strike that balance,” Moretti said. “She sat down with me and helped me make lists and prioritize things so I am more organized. She’s been a big help. Of course, I need to be the bigger help with her on the flip side since she’s dealing with a lot of new stuff.”

For the win

As tempting as it is to keep personal lives separate from professional lives, in the realm of college sports the reality is those worlds will collide. Integrating children into this particular profession has its benefits and its aha moments.

“Seeing my kids at sporting events and their interaction with coaches and athletes all the time — that is awesome,” Willard said. “I’m especially close to the gymnastics and volleyball teams. The way they react to my kids and my husband. I love that. This confirms that this is the profession I’m supposed to be in. It’s really reassuring that I have the support of my co-workers and the teams I work with.”

Kuhlman, who had Harper at just about every fall sport in her first six weeks of life, said his perspective has changed.

“It’s cliché, I know, but you won’t worry about little things nearly as much. There was stuff at work that used to make me furious. Now it’s not a big deal. A perspective switch — everyone needs those every once in awhile.”

Moretti said his new role as a boss means trying to prepare and coach his staff up so they don’t need him all the time. 

“Being able to get home at 4:30 instead of staying in the office. Finding things I can do from home. Prioritizing things during the day. This is changing the whole way I viewed my job.”

Radtke seconded that notion.

“I think the biggest thing is that you are never going to get the time back so make sure you make it worth it. Also, as much as the stuff we do is important, it’s not as important as your kids.”  

Bonus advice that didn't make it into the print magazine.

50-hour Work Weeks + Babies = Chaos
Advice from SID parents for how to incorporate your “littles” into your work life
 
Karen Angell – American University, Associate Director, Athletic Communications
Daughter Chelsea (July 2018)
 
I think my best advice is to remember that small children are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. Every time we're afraid she'll hate daycare or do terribly with whatever friend or family member is watching her - she doesn't. She almost always is happy and adaptable. I would also say to be really open and honest with your administration. When I needed to leave early or needed any accommodations in order to meet Chelsea's needs, I communicated that. I honestly didn't make it optional. Her needs are not optional - we do what we have to do. I can work after she goes to bed, and I frequently do. 

I hope being in this profession doesn't keep people from having kids they might otherwise have wanted. She is the best thing that ever happened to us and she's worth any amount of hassle!

 
Ann King – The Sage Colleges, Athletics Communications Director
Son Robert (July 2005)
 
While it has been 14 years since our little arrived, some things that I can suggest as we had to juggle a two-SID household with our little one!
 
Planning - as sometimes health takes a back seat literally to what is planned. When things come up with illness or a call from daycare that a pick-up was required because of a fever, assessing who can be the point person on that given day. In other words, who can leave work and work from home and who can not.
 
Also talking with your supervisor about your situation. You might be surprised who will step up and let you either work from home or bring a little one to work. Be prepared for the unplanned. Keep spare things in your office should you need a quick change of clothes for you or the little one.
 
We took shifts too at home. That way both of us could work and spend time with our son and get him attended to, while we could do work from home. With no family living in our same state when our child was born, having a network of neighbors or co-workers that could possibly step in is also key.

 
Stacey LaDew – Heartland Collegiate Athletic Conference, Associate Commissioner/SWA
Son Landon (October 2017) and daughter Collins (April 2019)
 
The best advice I would have to a new parent in our field is to find a tribe. It really does take a village, and most of us are lucky enough to be on campuses of caring people. I had so many students and colleagues that begged to watch the kids when I needed help. With my first, I was hesitant to “share the burden” of my crying baby with anyone and really struggled with my family being so far away, and needing help (my husband is a college basketball coach, so we were both ALWAYS busy). I finally started taking people up on their offers to help and am so glad I did, and wish I would have sooner. Everyone loved helping. People love babies. We had a woman who worked across campus who became our "Brockport Grandma" and so many people loved getting to know our little ones. They became a fixture around campus, student-athletes loved getting to see them; my AD would hold my little one during games, It really was a family affair! Our children are the most important people in our lives, and if we can convey that to our administration and stay on top of our workload, it’s a win-win for everyone.

 
Megan McCuistion – Utah State University, Assistant Media Relations Coordinator
Daughter Kimberly (October 2018)
 
I think my best advice would be to just be flexible! For me, it meant altering my day-to-day schedule to save money on daycare and spend more time with her. Luckily that flexibility has carried over to my department and everyone is really good about babies and kids being around. I knew things would change with work once she was born, but that transition was a lot easier when I didn't set outrageous expectations for myself on either the mom side or the SID side. Finding that balance has made the first year so much better than I expected.
 
 
Kevin Pottebaum – Briar Cliff University, Sports Information Director
Son Connor (May 2018) and daughter Eloise (May 2018). Baby No. 3 due in March
 
I often feel like I'm leaving my wife to be a single mother and it's a battle I deal with all the time.
 
 
Tyler Stevenson – Indiana Tech, Sports Information Director 
Son Carter (September 2017)
 
My son will turn two in September, and flexibility was a huge thing for my wife and me when he was born. At the time, my wife was working from home for a Division III conference and I was in my third year with Indiana Tech, so balancing life was a huge adjustment for the both of us. Thankfully, my AD is very understanding and supportive of families and she wants to include our families in our lives at work since the staff and coaches spend so much time there. Between all our coaches and support staff, we now have 18 children who are under the age of six, so there's a lot of kids running around Indiana Tech these days! But I was able to start working from home once or twice a week and did that until this past May as we got him into daycare, as my wife took a marketing/PR job at a hospital in November. From November to May we had him at an in-home daycare for three and a half days a week, and I would watch him the other days, or if there was something I needed to be on campus for, I would get one of my student workers to watch him, and he loved to run around the gym or wherever they would take him that day. But having a boss who gets it and understands that jobs aren't all who we are supposed to be, and wants us to be there for our families, was very helpful in the transition to parenthood.
 
 
Sammi Wellman – Cascade Collegiate Conference, Communications/Media Coordinator
Daughter Ryleigh (December 2018)
 
Part of my reason for not going back (to California Baptist) was because I had an aha moment where I felt CBU wasn't going to respect me as a working mom. There are other reasons I chose to leave too, but I wasn't willing to put in 50 hours in the office plus all the extra time with games and stuff at home with a newborn. I felt like I wouldn't ever see her with their expectations and my busy schedule.
 
Luckily, the Cascade Conference found me and I'm able to do what I love and be home with my daughter. I'm definitely still figuring out how to balance it all, some days are busier than others and I've had work calls where you can hear her in the background, but I love being able to do both. She sees her mama working hard and still being able to be there for her. I do try to get most of my work done when she's napping or sleeping at night so I can play her with her when she's awake.
 
I think the biggest thing is having a boss/institution that understands the value in having a family. I believe there is a way to be a great parent and a great SID, but you need a good support system, not only at home but in the office too. I'm glad I found that!

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