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Pictured above: Goldy-Beacom sports information director Derek Crudele presides over the wedding ceremony of Lightning athletic director Jeremy Benoit and his wife Becky Benoit in Maine in October.
This story is part of our December 2021 CoSIDA 360 package, to view more stories,
click here.
Licensed to Marry
Four CoSIDA members became ordained ministers when family and friends called upon them for an assist on the biggest day of their lives.
by Laurie Bollig – CoSIDA Director of Membership Engagement @LaurieBollig
Reggie White was known as the Minister of Defense during his time with the Green Bay Packers. Matthew McConaughey is the Minister of Culture within the University of Texas athletic department.
I present to you…drumroll, please… the Ministers of CoSIDA.
- Doug Vance, CoSIDA executive director
- Derek Crudele, sports information director at Goldy-Beacom College
- Matt Ensor, assistant athletic director for communications at Arizona
- James “Wags” Wagner, assistant commissioner of the Colonial States Athletic Conference
James Wagner officiates the wedding ceremony of two former student assistants at Ursinus - John and Alli Mazzeo.
Although there are likely more CoSIDA members to hold the esteemed office, I found these four within a matter of minutes after mentioning on a Division I cabinet call that Doug would be absent because he was performing a wedding that day.
I made an observation that there probably wasn’t another ordained minister among the CoSIDA membership. Wrong-o. Matt’s hand went up immediately. Michael Mahoney, at Penn, informed me Derek was not only a minister but had just performed a marriage ceremony for HIS BOSS. And Wags surfaced soon after with news he married two of his student-assistants.
A common theme emerged when asking these fellows about their “why” in pursuing ordination.
Derek: “I was asked by my boss (Goldey-Beacom College Director of Athletics Jeremy Benoit) if I would be interested in performing the ceremony to marry him and his fiancée, Becky. I was thrilled and immediately said yes.”
Doug: “I was asked by my nephew and his bride if I would be the officiant at their wedding and I wanted to ensure that I was legally qualified to perform a wedding ceremony. I searched online and found a simple process that allowed me to be legally ordained.”
Matt: “I was asked to become an ordained minister by a friend for his wedding.”
Wags: “Two of my former students (one of which was my best student worker ever) asked me to officiate their wedding. After that, I started researching how. I was the Ursinus SID from 2007 to 2015. John Mazzeo was a student working, while Alli – his future wife – was a women’s basketball player. The wedding was June 10, 2017.
At the request of a co-worker, Ensor performed an in-home marriage ceremony of a Zuni Pueblo couple.
There is no tough test or weekend retreat you have to complete to become an ordained minister.
Matt: “For The Church of the Latter-Day Dude, which is a Big Lebowski-themed organization, there is an online process you have to go through that is essentially a quiz with no wrong answers.”
Doug: “I found an online link that read: ‘The Universal Life Church/Fast, Free & Easy Ordination.’ Basically, I typed in my name, email address and picked a password. The next screen said ‘Congratulations…you are now an ordained minister.’ I don’t think I’ve ever invested such little time to gain such an important title.”
While Derek, Doug and Wags have each officiated one wedding, Matt - the longest tenured minister (since 2014) - has two weddings under his belt. Each person said it was important to get it right for the happy couple and not screw anything up for the bride and groom. Derek even compared his preparation to that of a sports information director.
Derek: “I knew Fred Dohrmann, one of my closest friends and the softball coach at Widener University (my previous stop) had performed a ceremony involving one of his former players. I bugged him how he went about everything and he recommended the Universal Life Church. He then showed me the script he used, which I took a little bit from, threw in the stuff I knew about Becky and Jeremy, added stuff they wanted, added my own sarcasm and we had a script.
“I made sure I knew all the little things about Becky and Jeremy that needed to go into the script. Reading the script from when Fred performed his ceremony and plucking little things from there was important. Going through notes seeing that they have to say ‘I do’ to each other. A combination of mandatory things along with a little spice...This was no different than preparing for stuff in sports information...You work hard to make sure everything is in place and you need others to help in the process.”
Matt: “I have always tried to be poignant, thoughtful and brief when officiating weddings. Be respectful and just try not to screw anything up.”
Doug: “I took it seriously because I understood how important this day would be for both the bride and groom and their parents. For some, you could make an argument that it’s the most important day of their life. I felt an obligation to ensure I lived up to that expectation. I spent time asking them what they wanted from my role before the ceremony. Based on what they said, I sprinkled a combination of humor, teasing, personal stories, serious comments about what marriage means, romance under a theme of “this is the best day of your life.” On a side note, they were married at the Wrigley Mansion, which was built by the chewing gum tycoon William Wrigley as a 50th wedding anniversary gift to his wife. I explained I just celebrated my 50th anniversary but didn’t build a mansion for Sue.”
Wags: “I was glad I could do this for my two students. It really wasn’t my show, but it was their day. They wrote the script for me.
“I was the co-host of the ECAC-SIDA Workshop in Valley Forge. That went Monday to Friday, that Friday night…went to the rehearsal. The ceremony itself was actually at Ursinus where they went to school. Did the ceremony Saturday, went to the reception. Went home that night, then packed for CoSIDA. Drove the next morning to Newark for a 6 a.m. flight to Orlando and spent two days at the World Center Marriott. Was a LONG weekend.”
CoSIDA Executive Director Doug Vance instructs nephew Derek it’s time to kiss his bride Dana. Vance presided over the wedding ceremony last month in Phoenix.
Side hustles are a thing these days, but none of CoSIDA’s ministers are doing this for the money. The personal request from family and friends inspired them.
Matt: “I do not consider this a side hustle at all. More of just a ‘right place, right time’ type of situation to help people out who may be in a pinch. When I officiated the wedding in Albuquerque, I didn’t ask for any sort of payment. I was handed $50 cash, a slice of wedding cake and a glass of champagne and that was more than good enough for me.”
Derek: “I say this now and doubt it would change knowing me, but I would not do this for anyone I didn’t know. Doing this had a very personal connection not just because Jeremy is a friend and my boss, but Becky also has become a friend since I have known them. I can't picture myself doing this for someone I did not know for a fee. That is not who I am.”
Wags: “Doing stats is my side hustle, but I’m always willing to officiate anything.”
Doug: “I’m likely a one-hit wonder in terms of being a marriage officiant. There are no plans to do it again, but if asked I’d consider it. It was a very special experience. And, I got so many compliments later at the reception. A few people suggested that I should make my services available to do other weddings. It’s not an occupation I plan to pursue.”
Want to get married during #CoSIDA22 in Las Vegas next June? Save yourself some money and skip the wedding chapels. For $50 and a glass of champagne, one of these four ordained ministers of CoSIDA might just help you (and your loved one) tie the knot!
Visit Universal Life Church’s online portal (www.getordained.org) or The Church of the Latter-Day Dude (www.dudeism.com) for more information on how to become a licensed minister.
Arizona Assistant AD Matt Ensor channels The Big Lebowski. Ensor’s certificate of ordination from The Church of the Latter-Day Dude.
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