You know the often-repeating advice that a person only has a few seconds to make a lasting first impression, but the truth is your brain makes up its mind about a person within milliseconds of meeting him. Our brain relies on snap judgements to categorize another person and decide whether you are trustworthy, threatening, competent or likable, among other traits.
We need to be aware of our body language, and these tips below can be used by every communications professional and shared with coaches, student-athletes and other colleagues to avoid sending negative messages during interviews, press conferences and in competitions.
Your body language is an integral part of you, whether you are aware of it or not. Check out the list of body language pitfalls below to avoid. Whether you're applying for a job, asking for a raise or meeting new colleagues, working with student-athletes and coaches on media training, the lesson is to be mindful of your body language as it can influence others' perceptions of us, as well as outcomes.
Avoiding these blunders will help you form stronger bonds and relationships in your professional and personal life.
The list was compiled from numerous sources, including articles from www.inc.com (Travis Bradberry, author), www.ragan.com (Bernard Marr, author) and www.theadvertiser.com (Mary Fox Luquette, author).
Here are 15 body language blunders to watch for:
1. Leaning back: You come off as lazy or arrogant.
2. Checking your phone or watch: You're signaling that you want to be somewhere else and is a sign that the conversation is not as important as what's on your phone or what's next on your schedule. Plus, it's just bad manners, plain and simple.
3. Limp handshakes: Everyone's handshake, male or female, should be firm, and as you extend your hand, make eye contact with the person. A firm handshake is especially important for people who tend to bend their handshake at the wrist. The handshake is meant to indicate confidence and self-assuredness, but it should not be a wrestling match (overwhelming)!
4. Breaking eye contact too soon: Doing so can make you seem untrustworthy or overly nervous. Hold eye contact a hair longer-especially during a handshake.
5. Nodding too much: You look like a bobble-head doll. Even if you agree with what's being said, nod once, and then try to remain still. People may perceive your heavy nods as an attempt to show you agree with, or understand something, that you actually don't.
6. Getting too close: You need to respect people's personal space and maintain a distance of at least 1 1/2 feet away; if not, people will be uncomfortable as you impede on their space.
7. Chopping or pointing with your hands: This feels aggressive.
8. Crossing your arms: Yyou look defensive, especially when you're answering questions, when crossing your arms. Keep your arms at your sides. Crossed arms may be a signal that you are not flexible and that you might have an obstinate personality.
9. Fidgeting: Fidgeting instantly telegraphs how nervous you are. Figiting or fixing your hair signals that you're anxious, overenergized, self-conscious, and distracted. Avoid it at all costs.
10. Holding your hands behind your back or firmly in your pockets: Doing so can look rigid and stiff. Aim for a natural, hands-at-your-sides posture.
11. Looking up or around: This is a natural cue that someone is lying or not being himself. Try to hold steady eye contact.
12. Staring: Staring can appear aggressive. There's a fine line between holding someone's gaze and staring him down.
13. Failing to smile: If you never smile, you can make people uncomfortable and wonder if you really want to be there. Flash a genuine smile, especially when you meet someone for the first time or when leaving an interview.
14. Inattentiveness: When interviewed, do look interested, ask questions and maintain eye contact with your interviewer. In a job intereview, it is important to project an air of confidence and friendliness. In a media interview, you want to be engaged with the interviewer and listen carefully to the questions asked; take a second to formulate your answer.
If you are unsure about the impression you create in an interview, practice in front of a mirror. Feeling comfortable in a job interview is important as it is a sign that you are knowledgeable, informed and ready to get to work. If you feel comfortable in a media interview, that is projected across the screen or in your voice on an audio interview.
15. Stepping back when you ask for a decision: This move conveys fear or uncertainty. Stand your ground, or even take a slight step forward with conviction.
16. Steepling your fingers or holding your palms up: Both of these gestures look like begging positions and convey weakness.
17. Standing with hands on hips: This is an aggressive posture, like an animal puffing itself up to look bigger.
18. Leaning: This can seem aggressive. Aim for a neutral posture.
19. Slouching: Don't slouch when seated or standing; you appear disinterested, unprepared and bored. It is a sign of disrespect. The brain is hardwired to equate power with the amount of space people take up. Standing up straight with your shoulders back is a power position and maximizes the amount of space you fill.
20. Turning yourself away from others: Not learning into your conversation makes you look unengaged, uninterested and perhaps even distrustful of the person speaking. Try leanin toward the person speaking, tilting your head slightly as you listen to that person speak,showing your focus and attention.
Maintaining good posture commands respect and promotes engagement from both ends of the conversation.
So, what should you do?
Whether you're sitting or standing, aim for good posture in a neutral position. Stand with your arms at your sides, and sit with them at your sides or in your lap. Naturally hold eye contact, smile and be yourself.
If you have a particular problem with one of the gestures on this list, practice in front of a mirror until you can erase the bad habit.